Calling All Members of The Tortured Poets Department: The Rise of Mental Health Concerns in Young People (Part 3)

Our previous posts identified factors related to the current mental health crisis and hinderances to receiving proper treatment. In this final segment of our series, we will discuss potential steps to support the young people in our own circles.

“’Cause you lured me, and you hurt me, and you taught me. You caged me, and then you called me crazy. I am what I am ‘cause you trained me.”

-Taylor Swift, Who’s Afraid of Little Old Me?

Untrain self-defeating thoughts and behaviors, while simultaneously replacing them with effective and encouraging ones. Unhealthy social trends, pessimism, and unkindness on channels meant for connection, combined with exposure to other flawed systems, have trained some young people to feel things like worry, self-doubt, and inadequacy and then behave in ways that reflect those feelings. Therefore, it is important that we untrain these flawed thoughts and behaviors and replace them with beneficial ones. This may include guiding young people and empowering them to…

• Recognize and understand their values system and how to live a life that aligns with it.
• Replace destructive social, emotional, digital, and physical habits with restorative ones.
• Maintain a healthy life balance, physically and emotionally.
• Listen to, respect, and use their own voice.
• Diversify their means of connection.
• Take healthy risks for the sake of positive self-growth.
• Create a customized blueprint for coping with adversities, including how to reframe their thinking.
• Practice gratitude, grace, and empathy every day.

“But when I count the scars, there’s a moment of truth, that there wouldn’t be this if there hadn’t been you.”

-Taylor Swift, thanK you aIMee

Be there to prevent, and to mend, cognitive and emotional scars. Simply being there is one of the most powerful forms of support. You do not need to be an expert in mental health or have all the answers. Simply by being a trusted source of comfort and reassurance is enough. This means listening with intent, asking nonjudgmental questions, approaching with empathy and curiosity, reminding them they are not alone (and ensuring that they fully understand and accept this concept), encouraging them to give themselves grace, and guiding them toward healthy solutions or further resources.

“The time will arrive for the cruel and the mean. You’ll learn to bounce back, just like your trampoline.”

-Taylor Swift, Robin

Teach resilience. The ability to learn from, adapt to, and bounce back from adversity is necessary for overall life satisfaction and the ability to reach one’s full potential. While many of the challenges faced by young people today differ from those faced by previous generations, the need for resiliency still stands. Some resiliency-related themes to highlight include:

• Digital resilience – one’s ability to recognize and avoid online risks, to overcome toxic mental and emotional digital experiences, to maintain control, and to self-regulate use of technology.
• Psychological resilience – one’s use of internal strength and individualized coping mechanisms to overcome adversities.
• Emotional resilience – one’s ability to maintain composure and control when faced with stressful, traumatic, or stirring experiences.
• Social resilience – one’s ability to recognize and avoid maladaptive social situations, to maintain values and conviction, to nourish healthy relationships, and to resolve conflicts in a healthy manner.
• Internal resilience – one’s ability to manage internal pressures, to reframe negative self-talk, to live a life that aligns with one’s moral code, and to continuously foster a healthy outlook and self-worth.

"This town is fake, but you're the real thing. Breath of fresh air through the smoke rings. Take the glory, give everything. Promise to be dazzling.”

-Taylor Swift, Clara Bow

Encourage continuous exploration of values and reflection on how those values align with the life they are living. Our young people are grappling with self-identity in a time when accessibility and visibility run deeper and cast wider than ever before. Not only are they exposed to content that is oftentimes overbearing and developmentally inappropriate via digital and social means, but they also feel personally exposed and scrutinized via the same means.

This constant pressure and inability to objectively process information can throw young people off-kilter. The desire to stay relevant and to belong can lead young minds to lose themselves. They may live a life that misaligns with their internal values system. To counter the pressures and unrealistic standards kids see in the digital world, consider doing the following:

• Patiently guide young people in finding a healthy balance of what they view on their devices, how often they view, what they allow others to view within their own lives, and how often they hand others that precious looking glass.
• Initiate conversations about reality versus the digital world. This will help remind young people that what they see is not necessarily true or reality.
• Remind kids that everyone wants to feel a sense of glory and belonging, but some online influencers will do anything to seem dazzling to viewers.
• Model the act of engaging in frequent self-directed “content checks,” including purposeful content analysis and purging anything in your own feed that feels unhealthy, unhelpful, or deprecating.
• Engage in conversations that encourage young people to reflect on their values, how those values set a foundation for their identity, and how they can align their lives with their root values through their thoughts, actions, and behaviors.
• Encourage young people to explore interests, to take healthy risks, and find meaning in both the pursuit of passions and in living a life that aligns with their values.

“And the years passed like scenes of a show. The professor said to write what you know. Looking backwards might be the only way to move forward.”

-Taylor Swift, The Manuscript

Foster purposeful and growth-oriented critical reflection. Even for the most stoic and introspective of people, if can be difficult to view experiences through an objective, principled, and compassionate eye. It takes guidance, practice, and intention to holistically reflect in a manner that promotes continuous growth. Active critical reflection involves…

1. Grounding oneself in order to analyze an experience with clarity.
Examining the 360-degree features of an experience including:

• Who was involved, what is their stance and story, how does this and other potential players impact your stance and story.
• What were you feeling before, during, and after the experience.
• How did your feelings impact your behaviors, and how did your behaviors shape the experience.
• What was your mental state at the time, how did your thought process impact the experience and vice versa.
• What was your physical state before and after the experience in terms of sleep hygiene, nutrition, energy levels, etc.
2. Clarifying the features of an experience with impartiality.
3. Using this explicit data to make an informed decision.
4. Revisiting this reflective cycle with the intention of understanding oneself and the best course to maintain authenticity and positivity moving forward, is a vital art.

When given the tools to practice active reflection, young people will instinctively maintain a rational and healthy vantage point when facing challenges. With confidence and a sound mind, they will develop personalized strategies to maintain composure, resist complying with actions or behaviors that counter their values and find meaning through individualized enlightenment and critical thinking.

With that, I feel it only fitting to end with lyrics from one of Taylor’s first albums:

“Because these things will change, I can feel it now. These walls that they put up to hold us back will fall down. This revolution, the time will come for us to finally win.”

-Taylor Swift, Change

Our young people are facing unprecedented challenges in this era of technological and cultural revolution, in particular. With the correct guidance and support, they can overcome and achieve greatness.