Flip Your Thoughts to the Happy, Golden Side

How many thoughts do you think you typically have in a single day? Dozens? Hundreds? Thousands? Maybe millions?

Some days, it seems like I have a billion thoughts racing through my head. But I also have days when it feels like a single thought is stuck on repeat in my mind. Well, research from Queen’s University in Canada suggests that I – and you – have nowhere near a billion thoughts a day. But we most certainly have more than just a handful, too.

The typical individual averages about 6,200 “thought worms,” or connected chains of thought, per day. Unfortunately, as many as 80 percent of those thoughts can be classified as negative. Not only that, but we also tend to think the same thoughts over and over again. As much as 95 percent of our thoughts are repeated, according to the research.

That’s important to remember because the thoughts we hold can affect how we feel. If we allow ourselves to get stuck in an endless loop of negative thinking, we’re more likely to feel miserable, frustrated, sad, lonely, angry, or helpless. It’s not healthy to let such feelings become our constant companions.

In my storybook, Finding the Flipside, I help young readers understand the power of positive thinking. I show them how to flip self-defeating thoughts over, like they’re pancakes, in order to see the positive or “golden” side of whatever sticky situation or challenge they face. This strategy, called “flipping the pancake,” is straightforward, involves fewer than five steps, and can work for anyone at any age!

So, when you or someone you love needs help refocusing or flipping negative thoughts toward a more positive direction, consider doing this…

Step 1: Become more aware of your thoughts and feelings.

Ask yourself, “How do I feel?” “What am I thinking”” and “What am I telling myself that is making me feel this way?”

Negative thoughts can snowball quickly, just like in a cartoon. Imagine a tiny snowball at the top of a hill. When it begins to roll, it grows larger and larger. The next thing you know, the ball looks like a boulder and crashes over every cartoon character. Literally and figuratively, they’re left flattened. Negativity is a lot like that rolling snowball – starts small, becomes overwhelming, then crushes the spirit.

Every day, there are situations (or snowballs) that can push us into a repetitive cycle of negative thinking if we let them. And it can happen quickly. Say, for example, you forget to set your alarm in the morning and wake 30 minutes late. It’s a mad rush getting ready and out the door. The whole time you’re scrambling, you’re telling yourself, “I can’t believe I forgot to set the alarm!” “I’m such a screwup!” and “I’ve messed up my entire day!”

One innocent mistake (that many have made!) has left you redefining yourself in a completely negative light. The snowball of negativity has rolled right over you, and now you think you can’t do ANYTHING right. The real truth, however, is that being late one morning does not make you a failure, does not mean your entire day is ruined, and certainly doesn’t mean you’re a screw-up.

Step 2: Sidestep the snowball of doom and gloom.

Don’t let it roll over you by staying in its path. If you pay attention to your thoughts and feelings, you can sense its approach and take action to keep it from overtaking you.

Step 3: Interrupt your brain with kindness.

Stop feeding the snowball with more negative thinking. You can do this by asking yourself, “Would I say this to a friend?” Odds are, you wouldn’t tell a friend something as hurtful as, “You always mess up!” or “You can’t do anything right!” Such negative thoughts directed inward is just like screaming hurtful things at yourself.

When a friend makes a mistake, you would be kind, encouraging, and forgiving. Extend that same generosity and gentleness to yourself. You deserve that very same kindness, encouragement, and love.

Step 4: Flip your pancakes to the positive side.

Search for and allow yourself to see a different, more hopeful, side to any difficult situation. Replace negative, black-and-white thinking with more open, positive thoughts. Let’s go back to the example of oversleeping and being late. Instead of thinking that this one event will ruin your whole day and must mean you’re a screw-up, say to yourself, “I feel rushed when I get up late, but I can still get ready. This is just one small part of the day. My day isn’t ruined. I can still make today a really good day.”

It might take some practice to successfully flip the pancake every time and develop a more positive mental attitude. But since 80 percent of our thoughts are negative, there will be lots of opportunities to try.

The more we can focus on the positive, the more room we make for feelings of joy, safety, and love. Sounds pretty sweet, doesn’t it? Let’s all get busy now and start flipping those pancakes!